Clear, Connected, Confident: Beyond Basic Communication

To say that effective communication techniques is one of the best skills you can master when you’re in the relationship business is an understatement. But with a million fires to fight every day, is adopting a more effective communication style something you have time for as a chamber pro?

Like so much of what we do in the chamber profession, good communication is one of those topics that’s worth spending a little time on. An investment in it today, can save you hours of headache tomorrow. But there’s more to effective communicating that just getting the words right.

Conversations impact our brains and shape trust, collaboration, and relationships. Our neurological responses to conversations can either foster trust or trigger defensive reactions. Understanding and influencing these responses can lead to more meaningful and productive discussions and that’s something we could all use more of, not just in our profession but in our personal lives as well.

The Importance of Soft Skills

As a chamber pro, you have probably had your fair share of uncomfortable conversations. Sometimes they are brought on by something we did by accident or a misunderstanding. Other times they occur because we have differing views. Whatever the reason, being a more “intelligent” conversationalist can help you avoid potential problems.

When I spoke recently with the provost of a local college involved in training and workforce development initiatives, he mentioned that the number one skill most of the employers he spoke with asked for was “people who were ready to work.” Upon further clarification, he explained that employers want people trained in “soft skills” or personal attributes, behaviors, and social attitudes that enable individuals to interact effectively with others in the workplace.

This surprised me.

I expected employers valued more technical skills in-line with their industry. But, instead, these non-technical skills relating to how you interact with colleagues, solve problems, and manage your work are also essential for building healthy relationships, communicating effectively, solving problems, and collaborating with others.

Working on effective communication skills not only impacts your own professional growth, but it can also mirror good behavior for your board, members, and even interns. Good communication helps people understand what is expected of them and makes for a more productive work environment, not to mention it helps in advocacy, recruitment and retention, building loyalty, and much more.

Now that we know why this is so important, we can look at a secondary part of communication—how it makes us feel and how those feelings often dictate our responses and non-verbal cues without us knowing.

The Brain’s Response to Conversations

In her book, Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results, Judith E. Glaser points out that conversations trigger hormonal responses that shape emotions and engagement. While we may assume we can control our responses to others in communication, Glaser points out that some things happen naturally with the release of hormones. Our bodies respond in ways we may not be aware of. For instance, when a conversation feels threatening, our bodies release the stress hormone cortisol. When cortisol is present in increased levels, it leads to defensive, closed-off reactions.

On the other hand, when we have positive interactions oxytocin and dopamine, the trust-building hormones, are released into our blood streams and we experience more creativity and openness.

So, if you’re feeling like you can’t get anything done (from a communication perspective) when you are stressed, you’re not wrong. That’s also why when you are surrounded by people you trust, you can have a more productive brainstorming session.

But how do you build that trust so that you (and others) can be your most effective? You do so through increasing your communication skills.

Building Trust Through Communication

Essentially, you want to keep your brain in a collaborative state. Any sign of stress or misgivings will impede a positive outcome. Effective conversations follow patterns that keep the brain in a collaborative state. You want to adopt approaches that build trust such as:

Asking open-ended questions

Showing genuine curiosity

Encouraging participation

Following through with what you said you would do

Stressful situations (because of the increase in cortisol) cause us to adopt more closed off reactions (such as turning away from the person you’re speaking to or crossing your arms in a defensive posture). Non-verbal cues (tone, body language) also influence trust.

The Three Levels of Conversation

According to Glaser, there are three levels of conversation. The goal of good conversation is to move to the higher levels where innovation and deeper communication occurs.

Level 1: Transactional (sharing basic information, confirming details).

Level 2: Exploratory (exchanging viewpoints, healthy debate).

Level 3: Transformational (deep trust, collaborative problem-solving).

Trust as a "Conversation Garden"

Trust grows when people share openly, follow through on commitments, and listen actively. Negative habits like withholding information or dismissing ideas erode trust.

Have you ever been left out of a meeting that you thought you should’ve been involved in? When this occurs, what’s your first thought? Why wasn’t I included? What could they be talking about?

You probably assumed they’re discussing something they’re trying to keep away from you—maybe even something about you.

Sadly, when trust erodes it does so at a much faster rate than it takes to build it. That’s why transparency in our actions as chamber pros is so important. It doesn’t take someone long to feel distrusting when they think information is being withheld or “sculpted.”

To change that and rebuild trust and improve the relationship, you need to make consistent changes in communication.

Overcome Conversational Blind Spots

When it comes to conversation, it’s easy to develop biases or blind spots. These are things that affect our impact to see and understand the true nature of the conversation.

Common conversational blind spots include:

Letting emotions unknowingly impact tone and wording

Overestimating how clearly one communicates.

Assuming others’ intentions without clarification.

To counteract these blind spots, when you feel like the conversation is taking a wrong turn:

Pause before you react, take a breath—they might not mean what you heard

Seek clarification—"I might have misunderstood. Could you please clarify for me?”

Be mindful of feedback—when someone is irate, they’re less likely to take constructive criticism

By recognizing conversation patterns and the reactions they breed, managing emotional responses, and fostering trust, you can transform everyday discussions into opportunities for connection, innovation, and growth. And, hopefully, get out of whatever hot water you may have been dumped into.

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